All that I do not know

Many moons ago, somewhere before or just after the turning of the year, I talked about how I felt 2012 was going to be a most auspicious year.

Thus far, 2012 has been peppered with moments of amazingness.

Installing beautiful bamboo floors with a lot of help from some wonderful friends.

Running a sub-2 hour half marathon in hilly Raleigh.

Climbing Buffalo Mountain in Silverthorne, Colorado with family.

Celebrating three years of marriage with an amazing bottle of wine.

But 2012 has also handed out some doozies.

In the spring, I learned that sometime this fall I will be an aunt. I have been taken by surprise how this news has held me captive. The many feelings and faults it has made visible. The many ways it has challenged my understanding of my self and my relationships.

In the early summer, some changes were made at work that required scrambling and spawned one too many of those 2 am panic attacks that rip you from your sleep.

Fall is coming early to North Carolina and my business continues to struggle. Tensions are running high.

The older I get, the more I realize how much I do not know.

And I'm learning to be okay with that fact.