Confluence of Good Vibes

A heart-felt and well-timed email from my father; a shared quote from my aunt; a lovely dinner with friends; followed by a beautiful sunrise, good news, and a PR on a 10K.

Tomorrow is the Ides of March, which was the beginning of the new year to the ancient Romans.

The winds of change are blowing - in recent times they have been both bitterly cold, and I shudder and turn from them, as well as warm and balmy, and I have turned my smiling cheeks towards them.

My wise father wrote to me yesterday:

The IF hinge is a counterproductive coping mechanism that we all use, but, one we need to understand and learn about to control.  It looks like this:  what IF – IF only, where IF becomes the pivot point in our lives.  When we are in a state of distress, we tend to grapple mentally with IF questions and these questions push us either “back” in the past or propel us “forward” into the future, both areas over which we have no control.  The past is done and unchangeable, the future is never certain. 

Now, there are certainly times when asking what if questions is useful for planning, and preparing for contingencies, but those are what if questions of a different nature.  The “what if” questions on the IF hinge are all rooted in fear.  When we are emotionally challenged it is an especially important time where centering, and living mindfully “in the moment” is critical.  It gets us away from the IF hinge and focuses us on the here and now and reorients our appreciation of the gifts we have presently in hand, not the things we perceive we have lost or perhaps never will have. 

So, I encourage you to recognize the IF hinge that may be vexing you and gently set it aside.  [...] Try to find your happy thought.  Or thoughts!  There are many of them if you look – it could be a beautiful sunrise or sunset, a bird (one of my favorites), a song, a poem, or just the breath filling your lungs.  You are never alone and never will be.  Trust that thought and throw away the IF thoughts.  

Many days in 2013, I have felt myself walking around with a sob half-choked in my throat. The slightest thing - happy or sad, distressing or uplifting - triggers tears that I cannot hold back.

And I am learning to be okay with this; for what a release to just tap into the feeling of the moment and then, let go.

To be overjoyed by pink clouds at sunset.

To be saddened by redefined relationships.

To be delighted by a field overrun by clover flowers.

To be frustrated by petty arguments and judgements.

To be tickled by the sight of a waving daffodil.

To know that this universe is beautiful and strange and I have a place in it, whether I know precisely what it is at this moment or not.